The Big Promotion

This is the story of a time that I failed as a leader because I was unable to communicate what needed to be said in a way that maintained the trust of a number of important people. To begin with, I was not on the best of terms with the boss. There was a reason for this, which I am going to tell you, and also how everything worked out in the end.

This was in a school environment where it was common for parents to communicate a preference for their children to gain exposure to native English speaking people with white skin. There was a  volunteer in my program who fit that description. While acknowledging the reality of our families preferences and giving it some more thought, I decided it would be better for this person to volunteer during snack time rather than arrival time to better meet the needs of our program. This person raised a concern that their absence at arrival time would not be presenting a desirable image of the school for families that who openly or implicitly expressed a preference for white, native English speaking teachers. I made it clear that it was more important to provide our staff with 15 minute breaks at snack time than it was for us to have an additional white person greeting parents and children at arrival time. When asked, this person said they were also available to volunteer during snack time, but they never volunteered again.

This person was in a position where they had a lot of influence with the boss, who addressed the issue some weeks later when they said, "We should talk about the elephant in the room." The boss said the volunteer had shared that they felt unappreciated, taken for granted, and confused about my decision. The boss indicated that it would be uncomfortable for all three of us to have a conversation about the rationale for my decision. Even went so far as to say the person whose elephantine feelings would in part determine my future would have been unhappy to know that their feelings were being discussed with me at all.

Now I could tell the whole long story of how it worked out in the end, but there is no need. The short version is this. I am responsible for the misunderstanding, and for not requesting a meeting with the three of us when I first became aware that the volunteer would not return. I wonder how things might have been different if I had done so. As it turned out, my decisions continued to be questioned in terms of whether I was sensitive to the feelings of our faculty, and evidence that I lacked empathy was gathered from a growing number of anonymous informants. It came to a point where the boss wrote me an email stating that I lacked empathy, and that there seemed to be little evidence of my value as an employee.

Let me get back to telling you how it worked out in the end. As I said, I am responsible for how my inability to communicate effectively contributed to each and every one of the misunderstandings. The boss was not my enemy. The people bringing concerns to the boss, or discussing their concerns amongst themselves are not my enemies either. If I thought about them that way that would make made me their enemy, and I am not. The boss never mentioned the email again, but was quite cordial after that.

Sometimes things have a funny way of working out. The fact is, a person could lose their job over a misunderstanding. At the same time, if the preconditions were met, the opposite could be true. Simple goodwill and effective communication could change everything. Stay with it, and harbor no ill will for anyone. You might be getting a promotion.